A Love That Transcends Death
by SweetHarmonee
Summary: Goodbyes that are never spoken are the most painful. Death leaves a heartache that nothing can heal, but love leaves a memory that can't be taken away. Cloud reflects on the death of Aeris, his many memories of her, and the emotions he is still struggling with. (Reviews are always appreciated!)
1. Seal Evil

_Why can't you forgive yourself?_

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There are many times that I'm just sitting there and it hits me hard. Here come the feelings that I thought I'd forgotten. I wish it wasn't too late. I wish I would have told her how much I loved her, how much I cared. Was she everything that I was looking for? I can no longer feel her touch. I took that for granted when she was still here. My mind races, wishing she was still here. Now she's gone and no matter how much I cry, she'll never know how I felt about her. I didn't realize that I loved her, until I lost her.

I still remember Aeris. The memories are so vivid. That moment she was praying at the altar. I can still remember her collapsing into my arms, the ribbon in her hair unraveling. I can remember lifting her lifeless body and placing her in the pool of water in the center of The Forgotten City. This was the last time I held her. The last time I would ever see her again. I can remember trying to hold back burning tears as I watched her rest beneath the water, forever peaceful. From that moment on, I vowed to meet her at the The Promised Land.

I can't stop the flashbacks. I remember her too often in millions of different ways. I remember her in the early mornings, in the late night, when I'm looking up at the sky, when I smell flowers.

Death is so final - there isn't much that can prepare you to experience it.

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_I never blamed you. Not once. You came for me. That's all that matters._


	2. Pulse of Life

The Mako Reactor 7 in Sector 1 was exploding. I'd escaped into the streets and that's when I laid eyes on her for the very first time. There she stood, brushing dirt and dust from her dress because people were scrambling through the streets. She had been knocked down. If only I could turn back time, I would go back to this very moment and run as quickly as I could to her side. I would have knelt beside her, held out my hand to her, and picked her up into my arms. But I didn't know her then, so I would have walked right past her if she hadn't called out to me.

"Excuse me." The beautiful flower girl spoke to me. "What happened?"

Even then I remember thinking she was such a pretty young woman. She was so small, much shorter than me. Her thin framed covered in that pink dress I would later grow to adore. Her wavy brown strands were swept-back with a matching pink ribbon. Her green eyes shone like sparkling emeralds.

"Nothing… hey, listen…." I fumbled over my words. I remember debating if I wanted to tell her to get to safety as quickly as possible, but I was so caught by her presence. Something had compelled me to speak to her. Then I noticed the basket of flowers on her arm. "Don't see many flowers around here."

"Oh, these? Do you like them? They're only a gil…?" Aeris always spoke so softly, yet so cheerful.

I couldn't resist her, even then amongst all the chaos in the streets. I bought a flower. I should have bought all her flowers. I should have never given the one I bought from Aeris to Tifa. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would have bought every single flower just so I could savor each dying petal.

"Oh, thank you!" She smiled so brightly, handing me a single flower before walking off. "Here you are!"

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_Would you really have rushed to come help me up?_

Her sweet voice spoke out to me. I turned and it was as if I was in a dream, paused in the very moment I watched her walk away in Sector 1.

Everything was silent, people were frozen in midair, and everything was completely unmoving.

"Yes." I promised. My mind was giving me a second chance.

_I wouldn't have let a complete stranger pick me up into their arms, silly._

The sweet sound of her giggle echoed through my mind. This wasn't real. It couldn't be real. I moved around, scanning the sector. Suddenly all the chaos and everything disappeared. I was struck by a presence behind me, a light touch on my shoulder. My eyes grew wide in disbelief as I turned slightly to the side, but something was keeping me from looking directly at her. My eyes would not rise from their focus on the ground. Maybe it was the shame. Maybe it was the guilt. I couldn't save her or even protect her like I had promised.

I didn't deserve to look at her again. I may be losing my sanity and perhaps my mind was giving me a second chance, but the guilt was still overpowering.

But I knew it was her. Aeris Gainsborough. My beautiful Cetra. From what I could see, a white aura surrounded her. It seemed as if she were glowing.

Her delicate hand reached out to my palm and she intertwined her fingers into mine.

_Why are you still here, Cloud? There's no use in chasing memories._

I started to raise my head up to look at her, when suddenly little specks of blood appeared. They clouded my vision, staining our intertwined fingers, blemishing the hem of her pink dress – ruining my dream. My memories of her are tainted. All of them - every single one. It doesn't matter now. None of it matters now.

"I couldn't help her." I whisper out loud, hoping someone will hear me. Hoping _she_ can hear me. "I would have saved her."

But I am alone in bed. It is dark, it is cold, and it is incredibly lonely. I can feel the warm tears sliding down my cheeks. I try to choke back the tears as I rock myself back and forth.

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**A/N**: _As always, reviews are always appreciated. Let me know what you think! I plan on expanding on all of Cloud's memories of Aeris. _


	3. Breath of Earth

"You okay?"

That polite, warm hearted voice spoke out to me. A voice so sweet. Opening my eyes, the darkness faded away. I was lying in the middle of a patch of fragrant yellow flowers. There she was, knelt next to me in the church. _Her church._ Sparkling emerald eyes looked down at me with such concern.

"This is a church in the Sector 5 slums. You suddenly fell on top of me. You really gave me quite a scare." Aeris said as she began to stand up. I wish I would have apologized for startling her, ruining her flowers, and creating a huge hole in the roof, but instead I just looked up at her dumbfounded.

"…..I came crashing down?"

"The roof and the flower bed must have broken your fall. You're lucky."

"Flower bed…. Is this yours?" I asked hesitantly as I stood up and brushed the debris from my clothes. "Sorry about that." I wish I would have apologized more sincerely. Why didn't I? Those flowers meant so much to Aeris. That church meant so much to her. I should have said I was sorry like I really meant it.

"That's all right. The flowers here are quite resilient because this is a sacred place. They say you can't grow grass and flowers in Midgar. But for some reason, the flowers have no trouble blooming here." She began cheerfully ramble as she knelt down next to the flower bed to tend to the flowers I had just ruined. "I love it here."

I remember looking at her and thinking how beautiful she was and how much I envied her politeness and optimism. I had just destroyed her flowers, the flowers she sold to make gil, yet she was still so happy.

"…. So, we meet again." She spoke softly, still tending to her flowers. "Don't you remember me?"

"Yeah, I remember…." My voice was clumsy, as if I wasn't sure of myself. "You were selling flowers."

"Oh, I'm so happy!" She exclaimed, glancing up at me for a second. "Thanks for buying my flowers."

She continued to tend to her flowers and there was an awkward silence. I should have said something, anything.

"Say, do you have any materia?"

"Yes, some." I was baffled. That was such an odd question. Most people had materia. I remember questioning her intelligence. "Nowadays you can find materia anywhere."

"But mine is special. It's good for absolutely nothing." She giggled, always so upbeat and cheerful.

"… good for nothing? You probably just don't know how to use it." I replied, but I shouldn't have said that. I thought she was just some pretty, idiotic flower girl. I was wrong. Dead wrong.

"No, I do…. It just doesn't do anything." She replied, so very confident and sure of herself. I remember that I didn't believe her. She looked towards the sky before she spoke, "I feel safe just having it. It was my mother's… Say, I feel like talking. Do you feel up to it? After all, here we are meeting again, right?"

"Got nothing to talk about." I replied. I was so stupid. I had other things on my mind, like finding my companions – I didn't have time to stand around talking to some flower girl. I wish I would have told her I would love to talk to her.

"… oh, I see." She said, looking up at me sad and disappointed. "Ahhh, I wonder whose fault that is. It takes a lot to grow them, you know. Poor flowers." She continued to check her flowers, while I just stood there silent. "Just a little longer. Oh!" She looked up at me. "Now that you mention it…. We don't know each other's names, do we? My name is Aeris. I'm Aeris, the flower girl. Nice to meet you."

"The name's Cloud. Me….? I do a little bit of everything."

Aeris begins to say something in reply, but her voice is fading. She is still talking, I am standing there listening. The memory seems different. Altered. The memory is beginning to degrade into something lifeless, the color fades. I feel this emotional intensity infusing deep inside my chest. My eye lids feel heavier. The only thing I can do is close my eyes and begin to weep as my memories of her begun to wither. I would lose my sanity if they completely disappeared – but hadn't I already lost my loose grasp on reality?

"We were meant to be together. I love you." I whisper into the dark, silent void.

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**A/N:** Reviews are always welcome! I'd seriously like to know what you think, even if you hate my story. Constructive criticism!


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